An open letter to (bad) recruiters

FYI – If you are a recruiter, and you are here, odds are you are doing your homework. Good for you! This probably won’t apply to you. However, if you’ve ever employed any of these tactics, perhaps you should, you know, stop.

 

> To: 55 names all in the TO line.
>
> Dear Recruiter,
>
> Hi. Hellow hope all is well with you I am conta

I can’t. Really. I can’t.

The following will mostly be quotes from my Twitter profile in regards to illegal/stupid/obviously not personal tactics employed by recruiters in the IT industry. Everything below ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Some will be expanded to explain why it is wrong/stupid/illegal/probably a scam.

**Age descrimination. It applies to young people too.**

> Just got a recruiter email asking for proof of age. It’s not a bar job, nor public office, so your domain is blacklisted (4 or 5 from them)
>
> — Michael Lubert (@mlubert) [June 27, 2013](https://twitter.com/mlubert/statuses/350063096540299264)

**Comic Sans is a font, and therefore I can use it in professional emails.**

> I can assure you, Mr. Recruiter, that PowerShell does not deserve !!! after it. Especially if you “found” my resume on a site I never used.
>
> — Michael Lubert (@mlubert) [May 13, 2013](https://twitter.com/mlubert/statuses/334002598736695298)

**Proofreading is for suckres**

> In an email: “-$25 TO $32/HR” A job so good, I would pay them to work there.
>
> — Michael Lubert (@mlubert) [April 11, 2013](https://twitter.com/mlubert/statuses/322462558638469121)

> Talk about personal touch. This recruiter asks me to send MY NAME with my resume. Also, sent to a list of candidates. Gmail marked it spam.
>
> — Michael Lubert (@mlubert) [June 14, 2013](https://twitter.com/mlubert/statuses/345563878136102913)

> [@KT_Recruiter](https://twitter.com/KT_Recruiter) Would you consider a recruiter forwarding you someone else’s email & resume under an intro letter an excusible offense?
>
> — Michael Lubert (@mlubert) [November 28, 2012](https://twitter.com/mlubert/statuses/273875436851834881)

**Timing is key in the job market.**

> “Please note my deadline for Submittal of qualified resumes is by CLOSE OF BUSINESS TOMORROW” – 5 PM EST on a Friday.
>
> — Michael Lubert (@mlubert) [July 26, 2013](https://twitter.com/mlubert/statuses/360870498504146944)

**If I wouldn’t do it for the prince of Nigeria, why would I do it for you?**

> Recruiters, asking for things that you don’t need to know (last 4 social, the month and day but not the year of my birth), you suck at scams
>
> — Michael Lubert (@mlubert) [November 14, 2012](https://twitter.com/mlubert/statuses/268775603988213761)

**Just…no**

> Hello Professional
> We are currently looking for Administrator TIS-Windows Platform
> Please let us know if you’re interested in looking for a change
>
> Title: Administrator TIS-Windows Platform
> Locations: Indianapolis, IN
>
> Required Skills:
>
> Skill1 – Windows Admin (L1)
> Vmware Admin (L3)
> Citrix Admin (L2)
> Windows & AD Admin (L3)
>
> Thanks